Couple / Relationship Sex Therapy
Nu’s Approach- What It Is, How It’s Different, and What We Can Work On
We ask a lot out of our intimate relationships, don’t we?
The pressure for our partners to be our everything, the pressure to be sexy and have an effortless sex life, the pressure for desires to be intuited and in sync for the duration of the relationship.
That’s a lot to carry.
So when sexual desires, orientations, or expressions don’t match up, it can create tension, frustration, and confusion. It can leave you:
Trying to nudge tidbits about your friends’ sex lives from them, so you can compare yours and see if it’s “normal”
Focusing on changing how often you do it (ever been told to “put it on the calendar so it gets done?”), rather than how you do it
Panicking that your relationship might not be as stable as you think it is because your sex life feels anything but
Avoiding bringing it up because no one ever taught you how to speak your desire, and the conversations feel too big or too embarrassing to start
Struggles with desire discrepancies are more common than you think. That doesn’t make them any easier to experience, but it also doesn’t mean you don’t love each other enough or that your relationship is doomed. It just means you are humans doing your best, and that you may need a little guidance.
I’m Emily. I’m an LCSW and Certified Holistic Sex Therapist. I work with couples and relationships experiencing:
Sexual desire discrepancy (sex “drive” or libido differences)
Differing sexual orientations (like queer and straight, ace and allo)
The impact of purity culture or navigating cultural taboos
Sexual identity and/or expression exploration
I believe that sex therapy with couples is about more than sex, and about more than the partnership.
It’s about nurturing the dynamic—both in and out of the bedroom. About honoring solo pleasure and fantasy as part of the whole, not separate from it. It’s about expanding what intimacy means, and noticing the quiet, everyday ways you already experience it—often without naming it or recognizing it as part of how you care for the connection. It’s about the conversations that are real, not rehearsed—the ones that make space for desire to stretch, for pleasure to grow, and for the relationship to breathe a little deeper.
It’s about working towards the sex you want, not the sex society tells you to have.
In sex therapy, we’ll work on how to find pleasure again, create a healthy sexual connection, and understand the importance of giving and receiving, so that you can:
Finally have the tough conversations that have been hanging in the air between you at bedtime
Get clear about each other's desires, needs, and emotional worlds (and have fun practicing)
Make the unspoken “rules” in the relationship spoken, so that you can stop having the same conversations that don’t go anywhere, and calm the emotionally-swirly finger-pointing storms
Relationship health doesn’t mean no conflict—it means having the safety to negotiate, ask, and express your needs without fear.
Together, we’ll dig into the unspoken norms and expectations shaping your connection, and figure out how to create new ways of relating that build strength and understanding—without blame or finger-pointing. This kind of work lays the groundwork for something deeper: a relationship where trust and pleasure can take root and grow.
And when we begin to strip back those old patterns and expectations, we make room for expansive intimacy to emerge—one that might look and feel like this:
Maybe intimacy isn’t taking off your clothes. Maybe it’s taking off your “i’m fine”. Maybe it’s being naked in ways that have nothing to do with skin. (Poem By: Christopher Sexton)
Get Started Today
Ready to explore what’s possible when you are safe to have real conversations? Reach out to book your couple consultation today. Schedule your free 20 minute consultation call.